Why do people lie? The simple answer: it’s easy. Virtually everyone lies, and most people are pretty good at it, according to TruthAboutDeception.com. Evidence suggests that most people learn to lie at a very early age. Starting at about three, children will lie to avoid getting into trouble. By age five, when it comes to dodging punishment, most kids are expert liars.
Interestingly, children must be taught to lie to protect another’s feelings, said Gail Saltz, a New York Presbyterian Hospital psychiatrist, in an MSNBC article. Parents teach children how to tell these white lies early in life. For example, “Tell Aunt Betty she looks great in those jeans.”
This example highlights that lying to protect someone else is more difficult, said TruthAboutDeception.com. It is natural for people to lie to protect themselves and cover for their mistakes. But covering for some one else is a little more of a stretch and requires a little more practice. But by the time most people are adults, lying is second nature.
What do People Lie About?
For adults, lying serves purposes other than avoiding punishment, although most adults have tried lying to get out of a traffic ticket or other more serious infractions. Robert Feldmen, a University of Massachusetts psychologist, said in a LiveScience article that adults want to control how others see them. And they want to control how they see themselves.
According to Feldmen, people will lie to appear more agreeable and to impress others in a social situation. In effect, they want to elevate their self-esteem. “Once their self-esteem is threatened, people will li – immediately.” They will lie about the kind of car they drive, where they live, and how much money they make.
A study published in the Journal for Basic and Applied Psychology found that of the people surveyed, 60 percent had lied at least once during a 10-minute conversation, with an average of 2.92 lies per person.
People also lie to themselves regularly. They lie about the amount of time they have to finish a project, how much they ate in a day, and numerous other lies. These kinds of lies only serve to undermine the person telling the lie.
Some people lie more than others. In fact, some people have a hard time being able to tell what is true and what is a lie. A University of Southern California study of pathological liars found that these people are wired differently.
What is a Pathological Liar?
Researchers looked at a sample of 108 people. After psychological testing, 12 of these people were categorized as pathological liars. The researchers asked 21 people who tested normally to serve as a control group. These people underwent Magnetic Resource Imaging (MRI) testing.
The tests showed that the people considered pathological liars had significantly more white matter than the normal controls – meaning there was a lot more wiring in their brains. Researchers think that this difference makes pathological liars masters at the art of lying. But more research needs to be done to make any final conclusions.
The truth is some people are better liars than others, but everyone is guilty of lying at one point or another. According to Feldmen, extroverts lie more than introverts, men lie no more than women, and virtually everyone lies at work.
People lie to loved ones more than acquaintances because it’s easier. And people lie to lovers or spouses more than any other group because telling the truth might be more painful than the lie. “At the end of the day,” said TruthAboutDeception.com, “people will go out of their way to believe a lover’s lie rather than dig for truth.” No wonder cheating on a spouse or lover is common.
How to Tell If Someone Is Lying
Saltz said that there’s no foolproof way to tell if someone is lying, but there are some behaviors to watch for:
- Avoiding eye contact. Is the person looking down or away?
- Change in voice tone. Is the person speaking in a higher or lower pitch than usual or speaking faster?
- Body language. Is the person turning away, covering the mouth or face, or fidgeting?
- Contradicting what was said earlier. Is the person saying something when he or she said something different earlier?
People lie for all kinds of reasons. Everyone does it. Some people may lie more than others. And some people may need the help of a therapist. But in the long run, lying is just another human trait.
For more information about lying, go to How to Detect Lies.
Kathy Jesperson - Kathy Jesperson is veteran journalist with more than 18 years’ experience. She has written about environmental health, water ...
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